Bitch-o-losophy

Mother-in-Law Stupidity

2008-02-07T10:55:00.000-05:00

The time to vote always creates chaos in my household. We have a democrat and a republican living under the same roof, both undeniably opinionated and hot-headed. And to add fuel to the fire, my mother-in-law thought her opinion counted in my household, to which I had to inform her otherwise. Many individuals in Maryland mistakenly thought the primary was being held this past Tuesday, when in fact, it will be February 12th. My mother-in-law is just stupid, which cannot be fixed, so she went to vote, found out she was too early, then continued on to my house.

First of all, in my mother-in-law prenup, I know it states that before any visits I must have proper notification, which is 48 hours. Drop-ins are not allowed. I have had this conversation with her many, many times and I think I need to get her signature on this contract for it to be more effective. My yelling, cursing and eye-rolling has no effect anymore. So after this latest episode of her showing up unannounced, she committed her next idiotic nuisance. She began talking. That was the idiotic nuisance. Keep in mind, stupid people should not delve into any political discussions. They look like an ass, and she already is an ass, so you get the picture.

She doesn't know why anyone would vote for Hillary; She doesn't know why anyone would vote for Obama; She doesn't know why anyone would vote for McCain; She doesn't know why anyone would vote for Romney or Huckabee; OK, who the hell was she going out to vote for? Pick a side dammit!

While expressing myself in an exuberant manner or what you all might call ranting and raving, I told her that some people should not be allowed to vote because they do not have our best interest at heart. There should be another category on the ballot that reads "I rescind my voter's registration card because I am stupid and do not understand what I am doing." My mother-in-law finally left, not fully comprehending what had transpired.

But then I thought to myself; What if she does fully comprehend what she is doing; Driving me insane! Is that the idea? I need to review my mother-in-law prenup and perhaps draft a post-nup.

Free is just another way of saying "Gotcha!"

2008-02-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

The word "free" drives me up a wall. Nothing is free, maybe inexpensive, deferred cost, but nothing is "free".

I went for my annual eye exam yesterday and the doctor informed me my nearsightedness had progressed some and I needed a new contact prescription. She was going to order a "trial" pair just to see "how they fit" and "how they felt." But the trial pair was "free."

All the jib jab confused me because why do you order a trial pair of contacts to see how they fit and feel? Why can't anyone just tell the straight up truth?

I would appreciated the doctor to tell me, "you need new contacts, I'll order a new pair for you. I'm not sure how you'll adjust to the new prescription, so I'll order a trial pair from the company and we'll go from there."

OK, I'm about to pay for my co-pay, which is only $10.00, and now they must go over the charges with me. What charges? The co-pay? Nope! The trial pair of contacts are "free", but I need to pay for a fitting. When the contacts arrive, I need to return to the eye doctor, put my contacts in and she will ask how they fit. Does that make sense? Can't I just call her office and tell her how they fit? The cost will be $35.00

So, the trial pair is not "free" at all. I am actually paying for that new pair of contacts.

Free is just another way of saying "Gotcha!"

Bad Girls

2008-01-25T22:37:00.000-05:00

I've been hypnotized to watch a new show by the name of "Bad Girls" on the Oxygen Network. It comes on Tuesday nights, right before the Janice Dickerson Modeling show.

The show is outlandish because of one girl, who stands out, Tanisha. This young woman literally rants and raves like a maniac. She starts fights, and has deemed herself as the group leader. Now the other girls each have their own issues, but this show is focused on Tanisha, the psychotic chick. I'm not sure how she made it through to become one of the housemates, but she has these girls following whatever she says. On one hand, I'm impressed...on the other hand, I believe she is bipolar and borderline psychotic and will definitely hurt someone by the last show.

But why am I so drawn to this show? Why do we enjoy craziness? It's like when you see something odd in the street and you stop to watch. Even if it could mean danger, we stop to watch?

Could this mean all of us like creeping to the "dark" side now and again?

My Bitch meter is down

2008-01-22T12:03:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine, who follows my blog, told me my bitchmeter is down. I guess things in my life have been pretty tame recently but, I do have some pet peeves that jump out at me.

1. Why do grocery stores only put 2 or 3 cashiers on a line when they know Saturdays is shopping day? How many people do we need in a line before you open up another one?

2. Why does the Post Office only have 2 people on a register on Saturday mornings, the busiest morning of the week? That is the day most people are off! You know its gonna be busy.

3. Why do things break as soon as the warranty runs out? It's like they make it to last til that very last day, then !Pow! It breaks.

4. Why are there items at the Dollar store that cost more than $1. ?

Be my guest, add to the list!

New Sex Trends? Friends with Benefits

2008-01-16T10:47:00.000-05:00

I wrote about a friend who finally caught her cheating boyfriend, after an exhaustive cat and mouse game. Well, she broke up with him without any revenge. Now, her brilliant idea is to become intimate with one of our friends. Not a new trend, but new to me because I've never come across anyone involved in this type of relationship.

Casual sex with one of your friends instead of "normal" dating? How do you sleep with a friend then act as nothing happened?

My friend has not chosen that special "friend" out of our circle of friends. Does that make sense? It all seems robotic to me. Why not just buy a machine and get it done yourself.

Valentines Day: Lingerie or Just Skin?

2008-01-14T12:52:00.000-05:00

I'm getting prepared for Valentines Day and wondering what to do different this year. I was pondering the thought of new lingerie.

I guess I understand the purpose of sexy lingerie , but doesn't that idea grow old? How long does the lingerie actually remain on? You pay $50-$100. for a sexy set and it stays on for how long, 15 minutes? I just don't get the concept of purchasing expensive lingerie anymore. Why not just show up in the nude? Wouldn't that turn a guy on more?

Why did they choose Sherri on The View?

2008-01-12T10:53:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna get right to it and kick in to b*tch mode. Why is Sherri on The View? You know the tv show that airs in the morning with Whoopie, Barbara Walters, Joy Beher, and the cute Survivors chick. How did they pick Sherry? She's cute but more like a dumb blonde. She can only answer certain questions and when she tries to become part of an intelligent conversation she always sticks her foot in her mouth. Is she there to represent people with low IQ or just for the entertainment?

Contest Sponsored by Tyler Cruz and Gyutae Park: Who Shall Get the Votes?

2008-01-12T03:12:00.000-05:00

I came across a new contest, sponsored by TylerCruz.com and Gyutae Park of Winning the Web.com. These gentlemen are competing against each other for the most votes. I enjoy a competitive nature but I'm extremely choosy, therefore, I had to review each website carefully before I came to a decision.

Entering Tyler's website, I was first impressed by a sentence Tyler wrote in his "Squeeze more money from your blog" article. He wrote "As a blogger, my main focus is to write good quality articles that resonate with my audience. Additionally, since my blog is about teaching you how to make money online, I try to write articles that make my readers come back because they know they’ll end up learning something from my posts." It could be good writing or an entrepreneur that believes in quality. Either way, this stood out and made me want to peruse more articles. My honest critique is I enjoyed Tyler's site, picked up a few pointers and I look forward to reading his articles.

Next, I had to review Gyutae's site to see if there was any worthy information provided. Gyutae's site is the opposite of Tyler's. It's more commercial vs. entertaining. That made it difficult for me to read many of his articles. For a blog to keep my attention, it must draw me in and keep me excited to be there. I noticed one of Gyutae's posts from Alan of Affiliate Confession, who wrote that “Gyutae is a real person with a decent haircut who’s wearing a business jacket and Tyler Cruz is a cartoon character with a gambling problem and poor posture. He also has very shifty eyes.” This is one of the things I enjoyed of Tyler's website. It's whimsical and fun and keeps your attention.

While both websites provide great tips for bloggers, Tyler's blog is more inviting and energizing. His logo draws attention and provides a welcoming feeling without even perusing the site.

And on a final note, Tyler was evil enough to upload pics of his opponent and himself, and then draw upon Gyutae's face. Although, this was a humorous gesture, I nod in his corner for his bitchiness. I cast my vote for TylerCruz.

Cheating Men and the Consequences

2008-01-11T08:33:00.000-05:00

Late last night my friend called for advice. After weeks of accusations and cat and mouse games, she finally confirmed what she already knew...Her man is a scoundrel! He has been Cheating! Bumping and grinding with other chicks and now she has to go through the stages until she's back on solid ground. For those who have encountered cheating before, you understand the stages. Depression and crying followed by angry revenge finally you come to the fork in the road to forgive and continue the relationship or clean the slate, cut all ties and leave the cheating a**hole. You know, if he cheats once, he'll do it again.

Well, seems like my friend had skipped through the depression stage straight to angry revenge. She is looking for ways to get back at him and although I had a few ideas, I didn't encourage her. When you are traumatized, your mental stability goes out the window and you do anything to feed the madness. However, once she cools down and thinks this through, a more methodical approach might benefit her. I'm thinking of a party...I see rope, tweezers, and wax strips to begin with. A crowd of women, grouped around a bed with the cheating a**hole tied to the center. And then out comes the tweezers. But I'm a little psycho, so that's just my imagination gone wild. Would revenge be more fulfilling to you or just let it go?

Evil Woobie Contest: A Love Story

2008-01-10T13:27:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm entering yet another contest and I want all of you to compete with me. Visit the EvilWoobie website to learn all about the Valentine's share your love story contest. You share your love story and provide link love. Good Luck All!

My Love Story

I felt awkward attending a fraternity party, not understanding anything about their masculine pride. Elizabeth had begged me for hours to attend, so I relented. I attempted to enjoy myself but I remained steady to the far right just about all night. Enjoying the music, observing testosterone trying to outshine and outwit their associates. The party was so prolonged; I began waiting for the time to pass so I could leave gracefully. And just as I decided to head for the door, an unassuming smile caught my attention. He was too perfect. It was as if he was created from some faultless gene pool. I couldn't’t help but to stare. His eyes were locked into mine and wouldn’t let go. I never noticed him walking over to me and even as he began to speak, all I could do was stare. He tells me we talked all night, although I can’t imagine my words being recognizable.

Our third date was full of overwhelming passion and I succumbed to intimate feelings and took our relationship to the next level. It poured raining that night, which just added to our moment. After dinner and a short walk back to the dorms, we were drenched. Lit candles, raindrops and a need for body warmth ignited an amazing fervor. I became infatuated and hung onto our every moment together. Many romantic nights followed but I found that I was falling in love with the idea of falling in love. We enjoyed each other and yet we remained loyal to other interest. His fraternity life was an important honor and I still didn’t comprehend that fraternity masculine pride. I had a commitment to myself and my education and that was my first priority.

We enjoyed a three year relationship, all the way up to his senior, my junior year. And although it didn’t last, it made my college existence a memorable moment in time.

Unwelcomed Advice from Idiots

2008-01-09T11:33:00.000-05:00

Why do unqualified people offer unwelcome advice?

If you have no job and cannot find a job and have been unemployed for quite a while, why tell me where I should be looking for a job?

If your kids are undisciplined and run-a-muck in the streets, why are you offering me advice on strategies to deal with my teenage daughter?

Don't you find the people who cannot offer worthy advice, are the first ones to open their mouth? Why is that?

Drinking and Writing Don't Mix

2008-01-06T12:29:00.000-05:00

I had professed to quit drinking and went back on my word. I wasn't a lush or anything, but a few too many glasses of wine just doesn't fit in my lifestyle.

Anyway, I had a few drinks with friends; started partying way too early in the day and then proceeded to try and write online.

I completely messed up my last comment on What I Feel Like Bloggin about because I was way too drunk to comment on anything. So I must apologize to the owner of What I Feel Like Bloggin about, although, I sincerely hope he received clicks from my post.

For those who can drink and write, Kudos to you if you can do both at the same time.

New Contest sponsored by "Whatever I Feel like Bloggin About"

2008-01-04T16:07:00.000-05:00

Stumbled across a new contest today but first, I feel compelled to comment on the website's featured image. I first viewed the image on Entrecard and hesitated before continuing to his website. "Whatever I Feel Like Bloggin About" is self explanatory, but the image shouts an advertisement for a scary movie. I mean, come on dude. A wretched face with a symbol burned into the forehead? Umm, how many clicks do you get per day? But upon visiting the site, I completely changed my tude. So whatever emotions you first encounter from that image, I encourage you to visit, stay awhile and feel what he has to say.

As for his contest...On January 8th, He's giving away a $20. gift certificate and 250 Entrecard credits . I know you're up on the Entrecard tip, right? If not, Learn a little...Entrecard is a unique traffic building, networking service that allows bloggers to gain credits by visiting member websites. To learn more about Entrecard visit the website explaining the benefits of joining this free network of bloggers.

Winner of the EntreCard contest!

2008-01-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

Kudos to me for winning impNerd's EntreCard contest and thank you Gary Hess for coming to the same conclusion as moi. I so deserve those 1000 EntreCard credits.

Like I told all of you about Nerds...they are so killa and right on point!

note for 2008, Thugs are out, Nerds are in!

B*tching about the Garbage

2008-01-03T08:13:00.000-05:00

Third day into the new year and already people just not motivated to do a good job. I expected my garbage to be picked up the day after Christmas and the day after New Year's. Now of course, I knew it would be slow and garbage would be a headache for everyone. But doesn't the rules of business state somewhere that if a normal business day falls on a holiday the day after that holiday, business resumes? Does that make sense?

I call to see why I am always waiting to have my garbage retrieved. The rep asks me if its OK for them to enjoy a holiday. Sure, but the day after, you're suppose to resume business right? And if you are not picking up garbage the day after the holiday, then what are you doing?

It's not much multi-tasking to be done. Retrieve the garbage, take it to the dump. Not much brainpower there.

In the end, I'm driving my own garbage to the dump AND paying the county fee for trash pickup. What went wrong here?

Re-inventing a New You for 2008

2007-12-31T12:06:00.000-05:00

There are 4 important steps to the Art of Reinvention.

Exuding Confidence
Setting Goals and Tasks for the new you
Learning new skills
Move your ass!

Confidence is believing in YOU. No one will believe in you; Pay attention to you; and certainly will not trust you can achieve success if you don't believe in you.

Set Goals and Tasks to accomplish and move forward. This will help you remain on track.

Learning new skills and making sure you are marketable is extremely important. If you want to be President you need to be ready to take the helm and run the show. If you are lacking in skills you might be able to talk the talk but you won't walk the walk.

And Finally, Move your ass. Get up and get into the groove. If you just sit there and think about it you're going no where.

Year 2008 is almost here. Get a pen and paper and get a move on!

Welcome 2008 and no b*tch slapping me this year!

2007-12-31T03:01:00.000-05:00

Aaah. I made it through another year. I b*tch slapped 2007 and got slapped back. So now, I've isolated my problems, set some strategic goals and ready for Task #1: Get rid of this god-for-saken template tomorrow.

Of all the comments I've gotten, not one of you said to re-do my blog?

None of you deserve a bitch-o-losophy award!

Procrastination is holding you back from Success

2007-12-30T15:52:00.000-05:00

Everyone procrastinates. You need to use the bathroom now, but you hold it. You have a research report due on Friday that you begin Wednesday night. You need to wash your hair but you believe you can go just one more day. It's confusing having the world tell you to stop rushing, you have the rest of your life. On the other hand, you have people asking what are you waiting for, get a move on. It's a struggle but it doesn't have to be.

Plan your day 24 hours ahead. Set short term goals and tasks that can be accomplished effortlessly. The long term goals you already know will be lengthy but you can think in terms of meeting milestones so you know you are getting closer to your outcome. Then ask yourself, are you any closer to what you define as Successful?

impNerd.com and the contest of choice this month

2007-12-29T19:03:00.000-05:00

Nerds rank at the top of my list. They never need to compete with me or worry about other underlings because they know it all. Imagine, a man who concentrates on improving his performance; Sets tasks and goals, and completes them; and Confident enough to call himself a "nerd". Sounds killer right? Well, you must check out impNerd.com, and his tag line says it all. He's a savvy marketer who's latest thrill is a Contest.

impNerd.com will give away 1000 Entrecard credits to the winner! And if you haven't heard of Entrecard, let's get caught up to speed. Entrecard is a unique traffic building, networking service that allows bloggers to gain credits by visiting member websites. To learn more about Entrecard visit their website explaining the benefits of joining this free network of bloggers.

Standing out in a Crowd

2007-12-28T14:06:00.000-05:00

I always stand out in a crowd.

I'm pretty sure it's my confidence. Most haters say it's my attitude. Isn't that the same thing?

I'm confident that I have a positive attitude to move me forward. To get what I deserve.

Most people you encounter will become an insignificant blur. Nothing extraordinary about them.

Do you consider yourself extraordinary? What makes you stand out in a crowd?

Not wanting your friends to have more than you do

2007-12-27T13:10:00.000-05:00

Women compete with other women. We want to look better; Have more; Be smarter, richer, more desirable than the next woman.

It doesn't matter if the next woman happens to be your friend, com padre, co-worker, whatever. We compete as soon as we leave out the door.

My girlfriend wants to get a bigger home. Why? She has an extra bedroom for guests and more than enough room for her and family. Yep, its none of my business, but she discusses this with me.

I really don't want her to upgrade because I can't upgrade to a bigger home. And true enough, I have not told her how I feel and I won't.

It's my competitive nature, I can't help it. I say what everyone else is feeling but won't admit.

Men probably do the same thing and I would love to hear from some men on this subject. Do they compete?

Friend or Friendnemy?

2007-12-26T15:57:00.000-05:00

Friends.

How do you know you have a good friend? What is your definition?

People are quick to call someone their friend. For me, it takes time, lots of time to become my friend.

Look at someone you call your friend. Think of all you'e been through. All the fun times.

If someone offered you $1million dollars to tell all the juicy secrets you know about your friend, would you? Would you clean all those bones out of the closet? Would you risk your friendship?

Would you do it for 1/2 a million? $500,000 in small bills. Just think what you could accomplish with $500,000.

Chef Ramsey can b*tch-slap you with words!

2007-12-25T12:45:00.000-05:00

My favorite reality show is Kitchen Nightmares. Gordon Ramsey can bitch-slap you with words. Now that is Bitch-o-losophy at work.

He expresses himself by verbally assaulting the very people who have asked for his help...And they take it.

It's almost as if you can hear the Slap! on the ass and then, "thank you big brother, may I have another."

Gordon Ramsey was fired from his chef's job in london; went and opened his own restaurant and now owns several in Europe and the USA.

This guy is awesome and a perfect example of going after exactly what he wanted and taking the world by storm.

The Journey wasn't difficult to becoming a b*tch

2007-12-25T12:17:00.001-05:00

The easiest job I've ever had was being a bitch.

The journey wasn't difficult, the tasks were simple and I have no regrets.

My outlook for 2008? MONEY.

So I guess that would include everything related to obtaining MONEY.

And to those who notice an imprint of my shoe and feel a slight tinge of pain...It's too late now. You should have been paying attention before I walked all over you.

Gossip Girls: Using gossip to your advantage

2007-12-24T23:56:00.000-05:00

Most of us thrive on good gossip. We all deny it then secretly go tell our spouse and pass the juicy details off to our friends. But do we go as far as using it to our advantage? It's one of our best opportunities to move ahead.

I'm sitting on a prime piece of gossip right now.

I know the right thing to do...

I'm just waiting for the perfect time to release the info.

What? You thought I would keep this under wraps, even when I have something to gain?

Please! I'm planning on entering 2008 with a bell and a whistle, embracing my bitchiness.

Sick and Unappreciated

2007-12-23T10:53:00.000-05:00

I awaken to a household of hungry, loud kids, playing Xbox 360 and I'm sick, dehydrated and sleepy from running to my bathroom all night.

But not to worry, Mom's at work anyway, cooking and cleaning, in between running back to the bathroom.

The banana pancakes are on...I'm running to use the bathroom once again.

My teenage son yells out to hurry back because the pancakes need to be flipped.

Isn't this a bitch...An unpaid job I can't quit and probably will never get fired from.

McDonald's and good clothing don't mix

2007-12-21T23:04:00.000-05:00

I stopped at McDonaldland today to let my 6yr old release his energy. I know this is the mecca for children and parents should be prepared for all the screaming, crying and juice-spilling scenarios; Suffice it to say, I wasn't prepared, but I dealt with it.

One parent was there with her son who was jumping and rolling, just being a kid. Well, he ripped his pants. Unfortunately, these were his uniform pants and the parent let everyone know, EVERYONE, that it was the 4th pair he'd ripped this month. She rant and raved and swatted him on the butt. Then let him return to play?

I feel for the mom, however, isn't everyone aware of what kids do when they get into McDonaldland?

Straight to the playroom to begin running while you wait in line for the food; You deliver the food to the table, they run to the table, munch on a fry and off they go back to play.

They jump, run, slide and stretch. And don't forget Murphy's law.

The uniform pants, shirt or both will get ripped, dirtied or stained.

Enter the playroom at your own risk.

Scrooge

2007-12-18T08:20:00.000-05:00

I've yet to get in the holiday spirit. I just can't get past buying the expensive gifts, wrapping, placing under the tree and then Christmas morning it takes all of 10 minutes for everyone to tear the packages open and that's it. Smiles, cheers, pictures and that's it!

And every year I get some stupid, obsolete gift. I can't even re-gift them. I got a paperweight from my husband's aunt. It was some type of rock..painted red...or was it a rock? Who gives paperweights for gifts.

If it's the thought that counts, what the hell does a paperweight rock say?

Aren't Hooters girls known for their tatas?

2007-12-17T13:11:00.000-05:00

I recently visited Hooters for lunch on 7th St in Washington, DC. I was in the company of 1 female friend and 3 male friends. We all agreed...Hooters has gone to the dogs!

The clientele remains the same. Groups of guys, all expecting to see large TaTa's stuffed into skimpy tops, small and tight to fit a middle-school kid. HOWEVER, to all of our dismay, all the girls were stick skinny, no T or A.

Now, I wasn't disappointed, just amazed that a restaurant known for its HOOTERS girls had lost its cool points.

Our food took 30 minutes. I kid you not! We had drinks so at first we didn't notice it. But so much time went by we began asking about our appetizers.

They bought the appetizers and entrees to us at the same time?

Next, the food was terrible. The buffalo wings tasted like Popeye chicken with buffalo sauce on top.

I didn't know HOOTERS was doing this bad. The male friends accompanying me actually carried on a conversation and was attentive??

Nice vs. Bitchiness?

2007-12-15T11:04:00.000-05:00

What is being Nice?

What expectations are demanded if you are termed to be Nice? Pleasant admiration; Transparent salutations.

Do Nice individuals keep their true feelings to themselves? Can you honestly trust their stance or is it only a masquerade because they fee obliged to appease you?

Does your hair really look good with that red tint?
Does your hair really look good with that asymmetrical cut?

Do those jeans really flatter your flat ass? Do they really flatter your wide hips and short legs?

See, I cannot trust Nice people because they are obsessed with treating you fairly, not wanting to hurt your feelings and basically, hiding from the honest truth.

Bitches will tell you not to go into the street wearing what you have on. Change your clothes and change them quickly before you make a fool of yourself.

Bitches will tell you that just because the celebrities are getting asymmetrical hair cuts, that cut does not flatter you, because of the shape of your head and face.

So ask yourself, when it comes down to your moment of need, do you need the truth on your side or will you trust in the pretense of a Nice friend?

Nice for a Day?

2007-12-15T10:43:00.000-05:00

But people always tell me I could not go one day without saying something negative or nasty. I always need to comment on fashion disasters, hair-a-cides, and stupidity. But I gave it a try to keep all comments to myself.

Everything is common to me at this point. You really have to do or say something off the curve to get a rise out of me these days. You always have that person at work whose breath makes you want to holla, but you get use to it, so you stop commenting. Or, you always have that secretary who doesn't understand fashion; still wears shoulder pads and doesn't care who thinks otherwise, so it becomes commonplace to you and you feel indifferent about those people.

So, I began my day at work keeping to myself, staying busy, without any breaks. This was the best way not to make any comments.

Lunch time was challenging, but no one asked for my thoughts and although I observed some strange occurences, I kept quiet.

I made nice with everyone, right up to the end of day, when it was time for me to leave.

An accounting clerk was in the ladies room getting ready for a date. She was meeting him right after work, so she bought a change of clothes and her makeup.

She went on and on about this guy and even I became excited for her.

While I freshened up my makeup, she went to change her clothes. As I'm saying goodbye, she calls out for me to wait...She wants me to tell her how she looks.

When I see her, I forgot this was my nice day. It was all for nothing because now I must critique her and ask why she wants to perform an impression of Madonna.

This woman even has on lace gloves with the cut-off fingers???

See, I try to get out and they suck me back in.

It's no good, I love my bitchiness and I believe the people around me have a fondness for my unadulturated, curt frankness about life.

Tired of my neighbor's loud music

2007-12-13T11:21:00.000-05:00

I have been complaining to my neighbor about the loud music in the evening.

She explained that since it is only 8pm, legally, she can play the music until 10 or 11pm.

I countered with quiet enjoyment of my domicile and I would appreciate her turning it down just a bit.

I now understand that she is embracing her bitchiness, but I never give up that quick.

UPS knocked on my door yesterday to accept a package for my neighbor. I gladly accepted. I did not want my neighbor to be inconvenienced, not receiving her package (smile).

I walked from the front door to my back deck and tossed her package onto her deck. Although it's raining, I'm sure there won't be any damage.

Well, I'm not that sure her package won't be damaged...Oh, the hell with it. I hope the package gets waterlogged, and the clothing inside shrinks to a child's extra small.

Revenge on your Co-Workers

2007-12-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

I never embraced sharing too much personal information at work. It amazes me how comfortable people become and share their innermost thoughts and questionable activities.

Take my co-worker for instance; We'll call him Dan.

During lunch, he spoke of his family; His brother the police officer; His grandmother in the hospital; his separation from his wife and getting back together 3 months later.

Take a revengeful bitch, like myself. I use every opportunity to my advantage; waiting, observing until just the right moment.

When Dan caused me to get fired, I knew just how to retaliate.

I called his home while he was at work and politely asked for him.

His wife, hesitantly informed me that he was at work (which I already knew).

I asked her if she was the nanny to which she laughed and said No. She asked whom I was and I explained that I was Dan's girlfriend.

After the pause, she asked my name. I supplied a fictitious name and began my revenge.

She asked the usual questions only a wife would ask, how long, when, where. That's when I brought up all the information Dan had provided during those lunch room gatherings.

I explained that Dan and I had met during their separation. I told her I was still seeing him and didn't know that they were back together.

I explained that Dan and I were very involved and he had introduced me to his mother when she was in the hospital and that is where I met his brother, the police officer.

I told her that I accompanied him on that business trip to New York.

Ofcourse she believed me. I had too much personal information.

I hear they divorced.

Do I have any remorse? Not at all

Promotion at Work by a Stab in the Back

2007-12-12T10:45:00.000-05:00

I wanted a promotion but was stuck in line behind this idiot who was hired before me.

I had to get rid of him to move into his position.

This freak of nature would not quit so a plan was devised.

I told him to call me on the weekend and I would help him with a problem project.

Since I didn't pick up the phone he called me twice. I told him sorry, I had an emergency and couldn't help. I've got his number on my cell phone twice.

Friday afternoon, I tell him to call me for help with the upcoming project. I would be avail all weekend.

He called me Sat, no answer. He called me Sunday, I gave him some pointers for 10 minutes.

Monday, I showed my boss my cell phone and said this freak was calling me during off hours.

Told my boss not to act on it just yet, but was just informing him that I was becoming uncomfortable.

The freak of nature brought me lunch and delivered it right in front of my boss. Seeds planted and this time I did not have anything to do with it.

Told my boss that freak of nature is always around me, makes me nervous.

In the end, about 2 weeks later, freak of nature is fired and I get his position.

I win again because I embraced my bitchiness!